OrtegaMineralPond

Like humans, us cats desire life, liberty and the pursuit of crunchies.

It’s no secret that we’ve been domesticated, trained to live in an indoor carpeted world. This unnatural state of affairs seems impossible to alter, and many of us are willing to accept that. But in order to flourish as felines, we need basic feline rights.

Threats Against Felines

It is unfortunate that humans, the beings who brought us into their “civilized” society, are the biggest threat to feline flourishing. Humans believe they can dispose of us at will, denying our right to exist out of mere convenience.

The human threat is evidenced on a large scale by the daily cat genocide. We are routinely rounded up and incinerated by your intrusive government body of “animal control.”

On a smaller, but equally disturbing, scale, there are the random acts of violence perpetrated against cats. A man in Galveston Texas made news when he shot and killed a cat that was hunting an endangered bird. To him I ask: who is the bigger threat to wild bird species? You or I?

Bill of Feline Rights

I propose the following bill of basic feline rights.

All cats deserve freedom:

• To use a cellphone
• To choose their own crunchies
• To use catnip (for medicinal purposes)
• From vehicular catslaughter
• From canine harassment
• From human government pursuers

These inalienable rights belong to all cats, in America and the World.

Cats in the riverbend region of north Minneapolis have been stacked in laundry baskets for months, awaiting the next shipment of crunchies from the Hungry Cat Foundation.

Taco Phillips, current volunteer coordinator for the foundation, laid the groundwork for the next crunchie shipment, but eventually failed to deliver on his promises, leaving the cats with nowhere to turn.

“They need our help,” screamed Mr. Taco, through a roadside safety cone-turned megaphone.  “I’m sick and tired of cats being sick and tired in this city,” he yelled to confused bystanders/potential contributors to the HCF.

The harrowing rescue effort is still underway, with new laundry baskets being exchanged frequently.  Still, no word has been received on the status of the crunchies.  Dog help us.

Blogging doesn’t happen here anymore.  Check this out instead.

The Hungry Cat Foundation is founded on the belief that every cat deserves a chance to live a happy life, and you can help make that happen. We don’t need your money, but we do need volunteers to hit the streets and help honest cats survive in Northeast Minneapolis.

The HCF was founded on October 17, 2009 by two activists that just wanted to make a tangible contribution to their community. As other activists protest social injustice in places they’ve never seen or understood, these two continue to fight for good right here and now in the land of 10,000 hungry cats.

How can I help the HCF?

The process is simple. Each HCF member is asked to meet in a predetermined location in NE every Sunday morning. We locate areas of need and work on them accordingly. The only expense our volunteers are asked to cover is for supplies. You’ll need a camelbak full of milk and a pocket full of crunchies. That’s all!

What is a C.A.T.?

A Cat Assistance Team is an intense group of HCF volunteers that work together to help cats in a more expeditious manner than our traditional volunteers. Contact us to learn more about a prestigious position in one of these teams.